Looking at the first draft, I've finally felt confident enough to go full speed ahead with this project. everything finally made sense, majority of the script needed changes as it wasn't what i wanted to do conceptually. and most importantly get rid of the obvious cliches.
Negative Points
- The mothers bare belly should not be at any point in the film, it's distracting, and will limit the possibility for finding the right actress.
- Yanna's personality needs to be changed completely, there's no character development for her, makes it hard for the viewer to sympathise with.
- Yanas conversations with her mother should be more clever and analytical for her age, she should be having more "grown up talk"
- the conversations post death, should not be to heavy on the supporting characters (she should have smaller worries, even if the first draft was more realistic)
- too much tea!
- there should be more sympathetic moments between the mother and daughter
- There shouldn't be a moment were Yanna says I hate you (the relation ship is more of showing the unappreciated
- No showing of death.
- No Hospital Scene
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